How do I deal with my anger? How does one let go of it?

This is a question that arises often. If there is some form of anger that seems to linger in your life, you are not alone. I will approach this response simply based on faith.

1. Do you know and fully understand how much God loves you unconditionally?
2. Do you realize that this same God also loves the person who has caused you pain?
3. Do you understand that holding onto anger hurts you, and then because you are hurting, you may unintentionally hurt others?
4  If God loves us first, can we love ourselves with our imperfections and defects of character?
5. Now can we take the last step and forgive the other person for the harm they have done to us? They are as imperfect as we and need the same understanding.

No one is asking you to like the person, but rather to love as God loves . Listen to the words of Jesus: "I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another" ( John13:34). Morris West said that, at a certain age, it should come down to one word: "Thanks!" He’s right, but to say that one word and mean it we need three other words: "Forgiveness, forgiveness, forgiveness!" Spiritually mature people tell me that they let go of anger completely when they can answer two final questions truthfully (if painfully): "What did the hurt teach me? Where is God in all of this?"

Perhaps if your anger stems from someone who has hurt you, Henri Nouwen's words might help: "...the reason it seems hard for me to forgive others is that I do not fully believe that I am a forgiven person. If I could fully accept the truth that I am forgiven and do not have to live in guilt or shame, I would really be free. My freedom would allow me to forgive others seventy times seven times. By not forgiving, I chain myself to a desire to get even, thereby losing my freedom." (The Road to Daybreak)